Monday, 11 March 2013

Internet Troll Resources

What is "Internet Trolling"?

There are many sites which discuss what "trolling" is and, by extension, what a "troll" is. 

Some examples include:

• Flay me

For the purpose of defining an Internet Troll on here, I will use the following definition:

An Internet Troll is a term of endearment that comes from "trolling", a type of fishing where bait is trailed through the water hoping for a bite.

Internet Trolls, for those not versed in Internet Jargon, are people (I think they’re people, but a DNA test may be required) who post rude, mean, or otherwise inflammatory responses to a post on a site with the express purpose of evoking an emotional response.

Some people like to call them, "Internet Mole People," because they'll pop up out of nowhere and shit all over the place before climbing back into their hole.

Either term you use, Internet Trolls happen to the best (and worst) of us. It's a simple matter of being on the Internet. But, it's not a whole lot of fun - often Internet Trolls say things that hurt like hell, exploit your insecurities, and shit all over your porch.

How do I know if I have a Troll?

Like labor, you simply KNOW. If a comment (or multiple comments) on your blog, Twitter, Myspace, Friendster, Facebook, or other social media accounts is hurtful, mean, or otherwise unkind, you have a troll.

What does an Internet Troll do?

Internet trolls post comments, read blogs and then post their own response elsewhere on the Internet, mock you on social media. The intent of an Internet Troll is usually to upset, disrupt or insult the person or group they are trolling.

What are Internet Trolls NOT?

· Someone who reads your blog that you wish didn't.
· Someone who offers a different (respectful) opinion in comments.
· Someone you know that you find (via your stat counter) has been visiting your blog but never leaves a comment.
· Someone who uses your post as a springboard for their own post offering a logical, respectful, but different opinion.

What are the Types of Internet Trolls?

There are a number of types of Internet Trolls to watch out for. Here are the types of Internet Trolls. Examples, using a simple blog post about a cat, are provided.

1) Off-Topic Trolls: Unclear as to whether these trolls are actually people or simply spam-bots.

Example: Simple post on cats evokes this response, “WELL, I THINK iPOD’S ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN’S PUCKERED POO HOLE YOU FILTHY, SOULLESS ASSWAD.”

2) Religious Trolls: These trolls use Bible Verses and religious scripture to justify being mean to others for no real reason.

Example: “Well, in (Bible Verse) something was said and THERE SHOULD BE NO CATS! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!!! I will pray for your immortal soul, but it’s dammed already, so just get ready for hell.”

3) The Flamer: This Internet Troll likes to cause trouble. Anywhere. With anyone. For any reason. If there's no trouble to be had? This Troll will cause some. This type of troll is especially fond of using words that aren't considered PC.

Example: "You're a r*tarded f*g. Go fuck your cat up the ass."

4) Let-Me-Hijack-Your-Post-To-Tell-My-Horrible-Story Internet Troll: These Internet Mole People almost always leave you wondering why they left you the comment at all, except that you’re now probably feeling guilty for being upset about anything, ever.

Example: “When I was a kid, we had a cat and that cat was named Sam and Sam was a mean cat and he gave my brother named Sam rabies and then we had to take them both out back and shoot them and then at the funeral, Sam The Cat’s Ghost came to haunt us and we were scared because it was a funeral and the whole town was there and there was a GHOST of a DEAD CAT who had KILLED MY BROTHER and oh my God the whole town came out and then my mom started breastfeeding a llama and I don’t know where the llama came from and then we went to the carnival and I thought I was getting rabies but really it was gangrene so I had to chop off my leg with a rusty ax and that is why you should shoot your cat."

5) The Grammar Hag: This Internet Troll chooses only to pop in and out of your life to point out when you've misused a particular word, phrase, or used the wrong context. This troll always does so with a very satisfying flourish.

Example: "In paragraph three, you misused 'their,' LOL."

6) The Pointless, yet Mean Internet Troll: These Internet Mole People usually speak in text-speak and only insult you. They’re usually found in forums and news sites with a misspelled very cutesy name.

Example: responses vary, “U R a whore,” “U Suk,” “U R Dumb,” and occasionally the “Die Bitch.”

7) The “This Is My CAUSE” Internet Troll (Internet Mole Person): Person who defines themselves solely by their “cause,” and spends countless hours blathering on and on about it to anyone on Twitter, Facebook and blogs. They have a Google search set and hours each day to devote to blogs and they do that to leave comments about their “cause.” Which no one cares that much about! Or is a one-sided thing and almost always involves emotional manipulation and impassioned catch-phrases to get the very annoying point across.

Example:  “Well, you should know that new babies should never, ever be around cats because the cats smother them while they sleep. The cats try and SUCK THE MILK from the babies because cats like to SMOTHER BABIES and if you DON’T GET RID OF YOUR CAT, you’re basically saying that your BABY IS WORTHLESS and you should be sent to BABY JAIL if you do that you soulless ASSHOLE.

8) The Crybaby: This Internet Troll likes to take everything anyone says super-seriously and ends discussions by flouncing off. Despite promises he or she will not return, this troll always comes back.

Example: "I cannot believe you posted something so horrible about cats. I'm so offended - I'll never come back here!"

9) The Back-Stalker - This Internet Troll will pour through your archives until he or she finds something you wrote that contradicts something you've written more recently. It will be pointed out. Every time you write anything.

Example: "In February of 2004, I see that you had no cats. And now? You have three? You're lying."

10) The Never-Gonna-Give-You-Up-Troll: This Internet Troll is right. Always. And this troll will never, ever, stop telling you why. It doesn't matter how many times you argue, this troll is right.

Example: "Your post is so wrong. I wrote a post here (xyz) and it's much better than yours."

11) The “WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN” Pseudo-Concern Trolls: These Internet Trolls are precisely as you’d imagine. They take any instance in which there might be an issue of perceived impropriety and exploit it.

Example: Your cat post: “WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?”

12) The Idiot Troll: This Internet Troll responds to every post you write with things a blithering idiot (or teenager) would say.

Example: "Your Mum."

13) The Troll Behind A Troll Behind A Troll: This Internet Troll, when he or she cannot summon up the support of others, will invent new screen names, logins, and profiles in order to support him or herself and his or her argument.

Example: "Well, I agree with what stinkybutt234 said about you being a piece of shit."

14) The Emotionally-Charged Troll: These Internet Mole People pop up, usually in the form of some other type of troll, to make you feel bad by playing on your emotions.

Example: Same cat post, “well, I HOPE you got that cat from a shelter because these (grim shelter statistics) cats die every year while breeders force cats to pop out kittens by the barrel and if you didn’t, you’re supporting that and really, you should make sure to always get an older cat because they are hardest to adopt.”

15) Debbie Downer Troll: This type of Internet Troll likes to showcase his or her unhappiness with the world by bringing you down.

Example: "Well *sighs* the world is going to hell."

16) The Vengeful Troll: The minute you anger the Vengeful Troll, he or she posts your personal information everywhere.

Example: "Aunt Becky lives at xyz, Anytown, USA."

17) The Fraud Troll: This person, who claims any number of things to gain the sympathy of the world, has none of the problems he or she claims to have.

Example: "Well, I lost my daughter, April Rose, to a chromosomal problem." The reality is that she's never had a baby and gets found out.

18) The Not A Troll, Trolls: Not everyone expressing a dissenting opinion on your website is an Internet Mole Person.

Example: "I'm more of a dog person."

Why Do Internet Trolls Do It?

Who knows?

Internet trolls may be sad, lonely people who attempt to live vicariously through those they see as strong and successful. They may be unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration, thriving on any response or acknowledgment.

Internet Trolls are cowards. Hiding behind a fake username or creating several accounts just to take a shit on someone else is cowardly. Most trolls, however, believe that they are being "funny" or "playing a game."

How Do I Handle An Internet Troll?

The best course of action against a troll is no action. Do not engage them in any way. As Internet Trolls feed off the attention - even negative attention - do not engage them in any way. Here are some tips for coping with an Internet Troll:

· Stay calm.
· Don't take it personally (hard as hell, I know). Trolls happen to EVERYONE. Just because you have one doesn't mean that you should stop writing or Tweeting.
· Keep your sense of humor intact.
· Don't attempt to reason with the Troll. It will not work. You may as well try to nail Jello to the wall.
· Don't retaliate.    
· Delete the comments they leave on your blog posts. Not everyone has a space on the Internet, and the trollish comments will deter the dialog between you and your audience.
· Report their comments as "spam" so that you do not have to read their hateful words.
· Find moderators for your site and use them.
· Moderate all comments on your blog.
· Block the trolls on your Facebook or on Twitter account.
· Do not use forums or other online communities that do not have a proper system in place for handling trolls.
· If they contact you via email, do not engage or respond
· Take the high road - respond to their comment thanking them for leaving it.
(Do not engage in public flame wars)

Should You Be Concerned About An Internet Troll?

Usually, no.

Although highly irritating, Internet Trolls are usually harmless and cowardly. If a troll becomes persistent and personal, threatens your livelihood, your family, or engages in identifiable harassment, you might want to assess the danger by considering the following:

· Who it is?
· Is it someone you have simply upset on the Internet?
· Someone you've met in real life (IRL)?
· Someone you've had a relationship with?
· What do they say?
· Are they insults, or lies and rumors?
· Do they reveal your personal information?
· How often and where do they appear?
· Is it really threatening, or just annoying?
· Is there concern about direct contact? 

What to do if you feel threatened by an Internet Troll:

1. Save every message you receive. Whether it's via email, as a comment on your blog, a post on their blog, etc. This information can be a useful as evidence, if your troll becomes a threatening stalker.

2. Do not retaliate. Although retaliation might feel good in the moment, it can be risky. It might inspire, provoke or enable the troll to continue their blathering.

3. Trolls get personal. You need to make it impersonal. Do not respond to them privately. Be careful. Many trolls will claim that you are stalking them, and then accuse you of Cyberbullying.

4. If you suspect your troll might be mentally unstable, do not engage them in any kind of dialog - just keep careful records and make appropriate reports.

Additional Internet Troll Resources:

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